the two sides

on one hand life sucks
on the other it does not, at all
I feel happy, satisfied
and dreadful, repulsive
I am so glad I am here, at this particular moment, at this particular place, isn't it wonderful?
and I just want to leave, run away, escape
at the same time I want to be with you, longing

I do not at all, because I am so perfectly god on my own
and I do my best, everything to succeed

though it is not, nothing is ever good enough, I could have done much more
a weak coward
a creative person who does all she can
so on one hand life sucks
and on the other it does not, at all